Attack of the Fan girls
by ocean-view-luffy
Summary: After Zoro was sexually assaulted by two fan girls, things turn from weird to weirder for the Straw Hats. Including Luffy doing the macarena and Sanji wearing something a bit too... revealing. warning: brief encounter with OC.Only in one or two paragraph.


**One Piece **

**For this story I wanted to imagine what it would be like if me and my friend entered One Piece. How would Luffy and Zoro's lives be changed... and would I get out alive? I found this funny as I thought it over with my friend... the people upstairs heard us laughing. shifts eyes I'd better keep it down then.**

**Chapter One: The attack **

**Luffy sat at the bar while people beat him and Zoro up. They were taking it as it is, when they heard a voice. **

"**Hey you! Eat this!" a girl with black hair said, smashing a chair over one of the attackers head. **

**Zoro watched a red head skidded in. "Hi! Awe how adorable." the red head said, patting Luffy. Luffy 's wide, innocent eyes teared up.**

"**Zoro... I'm scared." he whimpered. Zoro backed off. "You should be. Now run for it." he whispered. **

**Luffy was almost out of the bar when he stepped on a piece of glass. It broke with a loud crunch. The red head turned around.**

"**Where are you going?" she asked. Zoro grabbed the girls. "Luffy run!" he yelled.**

**Luffy bolted out of the bar and went full speed for the Thousand Sunny. "Help! Help!" he yelled. Usopp ran to the side of the boat and pulled Luffy up. The tiny raven haired boy shook.**

"**They were everywhere man! They were in the trees!" he said hoarsely, as the others heard his story. Sanji scowled as he poured Luffy some juice. "There were no trees." he grunted. Luffy shook even harder. "They were in the walls!" he corrected. **

**It wasn't until a half hour later that Zoro returned. "Zoro! You're all red- and slightly pink!" Luffy shouted. Zoro was heaving as he limped to the bathroom. Luffy and Usopp followed.**

"**Zoro- what happened?" Usopp asked. Zoro covered his face. "Nothing! I-er- got into some trouble." he muttered, scrubbing his face harshly with soap and water. Luffy looked under the towel.**

"**Zoro- you have pink and red spots on your face."he pointed out."Luffy, shh!"Zoro hissed. He scrubbed harder. Usopp peaked under the towel just before bursting out into giggles. "Oh wow. Those are lipstick marks!" he cried. Zoro sat down. "They won't come off."he grumbled. Usopp looked closely."Wow- those are a lot." he said.**

**Zoro sat back."Yep- there were hundreds of them." he mumbled. Luffy shook his head. "No, there were two and they were thin as a rail" he corrected. Zoro punched Luffy. "Shh !" Zoro hissed. **

**Luffy stuck his tongue out. "Well you're in a kissy mood!"he remarked poking the lipstick marks on Zoro 's face. **

**Usopp looked around. "I'll get Nami."he said running off. Zoro yelled after the boy, "No! Get Robin!" he yelled. **

**Robin touched the waxy lipstick that dotted Zoro 's face. "Hmm, I hate to say it... but that's 12 hour lipstick." she mumbled. Zoro sighed.**

"**12 hours. Jeeze." he said angrily. The captain was staring at Zoro 's feet. **

" **Zoro' s toenails look pretty." he said. Usopp giggled. "Zoro got a pedicure!!!" he snorted. Robin stared blankly at Zoro's emerald green sparkle toes. **

"**They were everywhere! How could two girls do that!" Zoro exclaimed. **

**Luffy was busy introducing himself to his captain...himself."Hi! I'm Luffy !" he chirped to his reflection.**

**Zoro shoved Luffy away from the mirror."Stop that he's not interested." Zoro barked. Luffy turned to the identical captain. "Don't listen to him- he has sparkly toes."**

**Usopp ignored the antics of his captain and sat next to the first-mate."Well, the lipstick will come off- and Robin un-polished your toes." he said.**

**Zoro winced in pain... though Usopp didn't know why. "Zoro- anything else bothering you?" Usopp questioned, resting a hand on Zoro's upper thigh. **

**The swordsman winced."Agh- no." he grumbled. **

**Usopp smiled."No. That was a agh-ow not an agh-no. You have a bikini wax!" Usopp shouted. **

**Zoro knocked the marksman down. "Shut up-" he growled**

**The group sat in silence for a minute or two. Luffy tapped his foot. **

''**Can I see it?'' **

"**No-get out!'' Zoro barked, throwing the boy out. The teen closed the door and heard Luffy. **

"**Hey! Zoro- oh. Hi Sanji!!" Zoro stormed outside. **

**The blonde chef was holding his sides tightly. ''Haha! Marimo- you are so... hahaha!'' the chef squealed. **

**Zoro towered over the blonde. " You have something to say Magic Eyebrow?" he threatened. Sanji 's eyes were full of tears. **

"**Yeah- your, well. Not as much of a man.. as you used to be." Zoro eyed the tiny figure. He could squash him like a bug. **

" **Look who's talking princess" he said, hitting Sanji with the blunt end of one of his katanas. **

"**Come- let's raid Sanji 's so called perfect hammock" the first mate instructed. **

**The crew hastily followed the green haired teen. Not wishing to be beaten up. They pushed past Franky and went up to Sanji 's hammock. **

**Luffy started swinging in the hammock. "Whoopee!" the captain yelled, stretching out the word. **

"**Ah-ha. Here's his stuff." Zoro exclaimed, pulling out a bag. "Let's see- Nami's stuff, Nami's stuff, Nami, Nami's's dress, Nami's Robin.'' he said, pulling out stolen items. **

**Nami picked up her stuff. "Hey!" she pouted as Zoro threw her favorite dress on the floor. **

**Zoro pulled out a pink ... what Franky wears. "Eww... nasty!'' Zoro gagged, flinging the material. **

**Sanji ran in. "What's going on- hey! My Nami-swan... I wanted to surprise you!" he stammered. **

**Nami flinched. " It's pink... and sparkly" she groaned. Zoro smiled. "Oh look! A letter for Sanji about this: **

**Dear Sanji-san, **

**Please DO NOT return to our beaches ever again. We have had hundreds of complaints filed, there have been cases of vision loss, suicide, and even attempted eye gouging. Many people innocent people have been hurt. **

**Signed,**

**Everyone!" **

**Zoro laughed. ''Here's one hundred signatures from one hundred islands in the Grand Line.". Usopp giggled as the green haired teen picked up a picture of Sanji in the... (dare I say it) hot pink speedo. **

"**Here's Sanji!!" he yelled waving the picture. Luffy leaned over Zoro 's shoulder. "Hey, what's- ugh" he chirped before passing out. Usopp shook Luffy. " Captain down! Captain down!" he screeched. **

"**Gimme it!" Sanji blurted, lunging for the picture. "Ah- - - - na!" the swordsman remarked, yanking the photo from Sanji's fingers. **

**The cook growled. " Gimme - the- picture" he snarled through his teeth. Zoro laughed. " Fine, I will trash the picture. If you do one thing" he suggested. Sanji frowned. "What" he snapped. Zoro thought a moment.**

"**Go into the crows nest and do the loser dance." Sanji cursed. "What the fuck is the loser dance?!" he asked. The first mate smiled. " Oh- any old dance of yours will do" **

**Up in the crows nest **

" **This is ridiculous! Why must I do this?" Sanji called from atop the mast. The green haired wonder grinned. " So your picture won't do this!" he explained, showing the picture to Luffy. There was a thud as Luffy passed out. **

**Usopp shook him awake. No one was going to miss this. Sanji sighed. **

" **What do you want to see?!" he exclaimed. Luffy jumped up. "Macarena!" he chirped. Zoro flipped on the music. **

" **I will not do the macarena!" Sanji pouted, stomping the wooden floor. Luffy giggled. " Come on! I'll start." he cheered, rocketing himself up to Sanji. **

"**Eh macarena!" Luffy chanted along with the music. Sanji watched the raven haired boy fold his arms to the beat. " Sanji - come on. You're not alone up here" the scrawny but adorable captain said. The blonde stood on the railing. "Eh macarena!" **

**Zoro laughed with glee. "Ha! I need a drink..." he said practically choking. **

**Robin shuddered slightly. Usopp stared at her. " What's wrong- Sanji creeping you out?" Robin shook her head. **

" **I can see up captain-san's shorts.' she pointed. Usopp and Zoro followed the direction of her finger. Zoro's eyes widened. 'Go Luffy! You're not wearing underpants!" he cried, rubbing his eyes. Luffy stopped dancing. "Nami wanted to wash them. They're my only pair." he said, grinning cheerfully. **

**Sanji stopped dancing. " You have only have one pair" he asked. Luffy nodded. " Yep- but they've gotten smaller. Too tight" the boy said, pointing down. **

**Sanji turned green. " Agh- you mean... Gomu Gomu tight?" he choked. Luffy sat down, this conversation didn't bother him. " No- natural tight." The blonde's knees shook- this creeped him out. **

" **Ok" he gulped. Luffy shifted. " Zoro says I won't stop growing for a while. Maybe 20 or 21." Sanji 's heart seemed to stop. He stopped growing at 12! **

**Zoro shook his fist. " I don't see dancing!" he scolded. Sanji threw a shoe at Zoro. "I did my time!" he claimed. **

**The first mate dodged to shoe. " Hey, don't throw those at me you psycho path!" **

**Luffy dropped onto the deck. ' I'm cold" he cried. Zoro walked to his captain's side. " Bed time Lulu" he said, picking the boy up. "I'm not tired" the straw hat boy cried. Zoro walked towards the hammocks. " Big boys need to rest. You've had a long day." he soothed. The raven locks on the boy's head brushed against his face. **

" **No tired" he whined in Zoro's ear. The green haired teen set Luffy down in the hammock, tucking the covers up to his chin. " Nice and cozy. It's gonna be cold" he muttered, tucking Luff's rubber feet under the covers. **

" **No! I'm not tired! I'm hungry!" Luffy protested, tossing around in the constricting blankets. **

**Zoro patted Luffy's head. " Night" he muttered. He left the room silently, only hearing Luffy tossing around. Nami was waiting outside the door. **

" **Did you kiss him good night?!" she teased. There was a loud thud as she hit the ground. ' Don't mess with me bitch" he spat. **

**The teen walked outside. It was absolutely ridiculous. In the time Luffy was put to bed, they had wrapped Usopp up in toilet paper. **

" **What's this!!" Zoro exclaimed, pushing past Chopper." He's our new cruise liner. The S.S. Pannochio" Robin announced. **

**Zoro lifted a bottle of Sanji's pricey champaine. " Well- every ship must be christened." he chirped, smashing it over Usopp's head. **

**Stay tune for part two of Fan girls... comeing soon.**


End file.
